ALZO Bluetooth Earmuffs
It is winter. A gale outside rips around angrily, slamming into windows so hard the glass panes shake, ripping through trees with such ferocity that the trees have no choice but to acquiesce and drop a hefty branch onto the sidewalk as a loud but solemn white flag.
And your ears? Those little tiny things on the side of your head that are usually the first thing to turn pink at the first side of frost? Well, no need to pay them any mind. Warm, safe, and soft…these are the words your ears will happily whisper to you, in the tone and decibel of a perfume ad narrator, as they burrow deeply into the sherpa cups of your new earmuffs, nestled safely in the warm embrace of what has become my newest favorite winter acquirement.
Like many raised on a diet of temperate weather, most of my body is what you could term as “not a fan” of the cold (nor of the wind). However, I would classify my ears as less in the “not a fan" category and more in the category of “in a perpetual state of disbelief that the human body was made to withstand such horrific weather conditions like a cold breeze in winter." Unfortunately, my ears have always been overly sensitive to both the cold and the wind, as well as to any general changes in air pressure. If you have this problem as well, you know that I’m not referring to the outer tips of your ears being a tad uncomfortable in the cold. Instead, I'm talking about the type of pain that lies deep, deep inside your ears. The type of pain that stabs and and pierces until a nasty earache emerges and all winter fun stops. The type of pain that appears to have no recourse, no solution, except to retreat to warmer surroundings.
That is, until last year, when a solution fell from the sky in a brown box and onto my doorstep. This box promised deliverance from an undeserved winter reckoning of pain, and that deliverance came in the shape of sherpa earmuffs. All of a sudden, the cold and pain of the harsh winter air nearly disappeared. Since first trying them on, they have quickly become a mainstay of my cold-weather life, rarely leaving my side for more than a day or two.
At this point, I have waxed poetic so much about how much these earmuffs do to stave off the winter cold that I have buried the lede a bit. One of the most outstanding points of these earmuffs, and the second reason they have rarely strayed from my head for the past few months, is that they are headphones. Yes, the full capabilities of a normal set of bluetooth headphones are hidden inside the fuzzy skeleton of these very immensely comfortable and warm earmuffs.
Speaking of comfort, their achievements in this area put all my other headphones to shame, and I am a bit sad knowing that I don’t have a similarly comfortable pair of headphones I can switch to once winter retreats and the sun appears in its full shining glory again. In addition to having an adjustable band, they also gently lay atop your ears in a sweet but tender way, laying almost zero pressure down on the sides of your head. While a normal headphone-wearing experience can be akin to Gordon Ramsey clasping the sides of your head with bread-laden hands and demanding to know, with with a venomous yell, what type of sandwich you are, wearing these earmuffs is instead akin to having tiny clouds attached to your ears, pumping in your favorite tunes while cradling your head in the most imperceptible warm embrace. While normal headphones can make your ears and your head feel a little suffocated with their promise of being air-tight and letting nothing get in the way of your music and your ears, that delivered promise has occasionally given me a headache and a general smothering feeling that I don’t particularly enjoy, especially when wearing headphones for multiple hours a day for weeks on end. With these headphones, comfort is the promise. While wearing these, your head feels free and unencumbered, like you are skipping through a field of grass in a long white skirt on a bright spring day.
I would like nothing more than to champion you on your way to making your grass-frolicking dreams a reality, so if you are looking to enshroud your ears with the softest-ever material during this cold winter while simultaneously serenading them with 7 non-stop hours of your favorite audio, then I highly recommend trying out my favorite purchase, bar none, of the 2023-2024 winter season.
Other notable things:
Transmission distance: 30 feet
Controls include: Volume, call answer, pause/play.
USB Charging cord included.
